My Fellow Americans...

Riddle me this:

What do an eighteen year old Swiss girl, an aspiring female Russian dermatologist, and a twenty-two year old African American male all have in common?

Came up with anything?

I'll give you a few more seconds...

Their ability to consistently and systematically butcher the German language

My Room! 

I'm in Cologne now, everything is situated and I have my nice room with closets and beds, and tv, a kitchen right across the hall a bathroom and a dining room. My land lady or "Vermieter" in German, seems to be nice enough, if not a little reserved. I really wanted a very active host family, one that would want to speak with me in German for hours on end and learn about me, but as of day one, it seems this is strictly business.

But I'm practicing finding silver linings in things.

As much as a minor letdown this is, I can't complain because I have two really interesting people who also happen to be renting out rooms here. And if you didn't deduce it yourself, yes they are the Swiss and Russian from my aforementioned riddle. It's actually pretty amazing, we communicate in German, since it is our only common language. Although we certainly don't sound like native speakers (our sentences generally adding up to something like this: "you would to the city to go want?"), there's something refreshing about speaking without the crutch of English to hold me back.

They've also got a network in Cologne and have happily added me into it, in three days I have four new friends, none from the US and it's really an amazing thing to have.  Additionally, they are both also taking classes at the language school I'll be attending in which classes start Monday so it gives me something to look forward to since I've heard positive things from them. They've both commented on how I don't sound American, I wonder, what is an American really supposed to sound like? Regardless, I'm okay with breaking down their stereotypes.

Like I said, silver lining.

I must say, I am thoroughly excited about Cologne. It has such a rich history and some very beautiful sights that I will be sure to see as early and often as possible. I feel the need to enrich people's thinking, so if you don't have much familiarity with the city of Cologne, check out their website, it'll do you some good until I can bring you a different perspective.

I'm sure I will talk about the city, and how much fun I've had so far, but perhaps that's more suited for after this weekend when I've done a a few more things I'm longing to do. For now, you can just check out a couple photos of the Cologne Cathedral and some duckies on the water.

What I actually wanted to write about today was a few things I learned from these people about the perception of Americans. If I were a European and my experiences had been like any of the ones I have heard about thus far, I'd be pretty skeptical of us Americans too. So be wary, if you do any of these things, you will get a serious side eye from our neighbors across the pond.

But honestly, come on, if you do any of these things that I've heard us Amis are privy of doing stop, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Kill yourself.

But please don't actually, then you can't improve on these things.

1. You say "like" after every other word...in a FOREIGN LANGUAGE. What the heck is wrong with you? It's not bad enough that you interject "like" into every single english sentence, but now you have to infect other cultures with this nonsense? Advice: take a deep breath, think through your sentence and keep it rolling.

Clearly a VISIBLE difference!

2. You do not know that Switzerland and Sweden are different places. I really don't have to much room to talk on Geography because alas, it is one of my weaker subjects but there's a difference between location familiarity and location recognition. First and formost, Switzerland is LANDLOCKED by not only Germany, but also Italy, France & Austria. The other has accessible coasts. Just like their countries are different, so are their cultures. Swedes are different than the Swiss, you want some good chocolate, great social care and beautiful aesthetics, go to Switzerland. Not your things? Okay, well Sweden is really big on cinema, they're extremely open and their fashion seems to get to the States easily enough (H&M anyone?). Seriously though...do not travel to Europe without knowing such acute distinctions these. Or at least enough to know their two different locations. Sheesh.

P.S. Out of the kindness of my heart, I've provided you, of such acute cultural awareness, a map of Europe, just in case you want to learn yourself.

3. You do not attempt to learn the language of where you are staying. This one is nuanced, if you're going to Poland for 1.5 days, I don't expect you to pick up anything, maybe a hello and a good day, but that's it. This is really a condemnation for those people who, after being somewhere an extended period of time, do not even attempt to pick up the niceties of the language. Not okay dude.

Okay, my slight venting period is over, I don't even know if it's worth it to point out these wholly unacceptable behaviors here, there are way to many people for this message to get out to everyone, so I suppose the message is: do your best not to portray any of these unappealing views of Americans in Europe.

And some people wonder why Europeans have criticisms of Americans. Trust me, if you said "like" after every word, I wouldn't like you either.