Second Hand Smoke

I've never been a big fan of smoking. It's not anything more than I just have never really understood the entire appeal around cigarrettes. I mean, people know they're unhealthy, they smell terrible, and they come with other inconveniences (see: addiction). Regardless, a huge amount of people smoke. This is something I've known for my entire life but it seems, at least to me, that the United States has done a wonderful job of making the smoking culture as subdued as possible. That's not something I can say about German smoking culture.

Last summer, when I returned to the US from Germany I had a very interesting experience. The first smell I could notice in the airport was something that was seemingly foreign after three months away but I immediately recognized what it was with a big inhale: cooking grease. It was a pretty symbolic return to the states, if I wasn't so ecstatic to be off of a plane and seeing some familiar sights, I would have probably gone to the closest bathroom and gagged. If grease is the symbolic smell of American culture, then smoking is absolutely the symbolic smell of German culture. I suppose it's just one of those observational behaviors that people pick up on (you know, kind of like obese eating habits in the United States but this is a condemnation of neither America's nor Germany's child rearing techniques).

What Cool Kid Wouldn't Want a Pack??

You know, I had a conversation with my guest family about the first time that many Germans have their first taste of alcohol. The consensus was from anywhere between 12-14 with parental guidance. Naturally this isn't as "outrageous" when compared to our American puritanism standard drinking age of 21 as it could be, especially since at 16 they're drinking willy-nilly anyway. My point is simply that, since German kids start drinking so young an integral part of their culture is drinking. I had a conversation with a friend about the first time many Germans have their first cigarette, the age is about the same. Now this isn't too different from the US where a lot of young kids smoke, hell, there are even cigarettes that deliberately target kids in the US. I think the difference is the magnitude of advertising, and socialization that admonishes smoking in Germany.

Personally, this isn't an issue of morality, or immorality. I'm of the firm opinion that whatever someone does to their own body is completely their business as long as it doesn't affect other people. The problem is, Germany, that your smoking does affect me. A. Lot. And other people too I was at a soccer game with my host brother and a few other friends and as I was cheering my head off for Münster on their way to a 3-0 win. But all I could notice was all the kids whose nostrils were getting filled with noxious gas and it disturbed me. Smoke blowing everywhere, cigarettes being lit up here and there, inside, outside, everywhere. For a country so focused on healthy habits, environmental safety and the like, there seems to be a disproportionate amount of people who smoke and it's really out of character of the country.


Like doesn't it seem odd, to see a country of active, constant movers that's been really motivational to my own quest for self-improvement (see: Take The Stairs) but at the same time they, in a rather large proportion of the population, fill their lungs with toxic materials numerous times a day. Hey, whatever sinks your battleship, right? I'm going back to the "neutral" apathetic thinker right now, in the relative security of my home which has never been plagued with the smells of cigarette smoke but I'm certain that when I get that next puff of second hand smoke blown DIRECTLY IN MY FACE I will have some different feelings about it.

And if you need "empirical evidence" well...here you go or here.

So kudos to America for getting it "right." Of course there are still smoking problems but it's not something that I feel is always in my face as apparently as it is here. I mean imagine walking into an airport (the American equivalent of German train stations) and the first smell you detect is cigarette smoke. It's really an unpleasant experience, didn't you know and I feel like Germany is adequately equipped to battle the issue.


So I'll kindly ask you sternly Germany: Fix it. Now. Please?

Before my lungs fail.

Take The Stairs

You all thought I was kidding, huh? About that whole, one blog post for the rest of my time here thing. Well I was, but I did manage to go...what, almost two weeks without writing anything. I always think it's a personal responsibility of mine to chronicle, in written form, my mishaps as a blogger. Two weeks is pretty bad so hopefully I'll make up with it with some major posting during the next twenty days of the first month of winter. 

My Guidebook to German Winters

Winter, that's something that is fresh on my mind. It's pretty cold out. As such, it requires consistent preparation. I have to garb myself in layer upon layer of clothing before stepping out to face the elements. Now I'm a logical human being, that means I like to spend the least amount of time possible out in the cold. That means that usually when I'm in the cold, I'm heading somewhere. That means that my journeys outside are usually pretty short-lived. One thing that isn't short lived is the excessive sweating that happens afterwards. Gross, right? Really simple equation actually: wear warm clothes, head out into the elements, exercise (in my case, biking) and then enter a warm environment. 

It never fails. I'm always sweating. I could probably amend my previous rant about water if I could find some way to desalinate all the water I lose through my pores. 

The funny thing about the first three paragraphs I just wrote is that they lead up to the phenomenon that I've experienced so consistently in Germany: 

No one is fat. 

I know, I know, it's an exaggeration, obviously there is someone, somewhere in Irgendwo, Deutschland, that's fat. I would love to befriend that one person and figure out how in the hell he fell through the cracks of German society. Seriously, if I could do some massive study of average weight in Germany, I'd not be surprised to see it was 20 or so pounds less than the average in the United States. At first you might want to think, "well there's a smaller sample size, of course there going to be less fat people" but I'm talking proportions and percentages here. Here...let's do a social experiment. If you're in a large enough university, go into your next class with 300+ people in it and count how many people you would quantify as "overweight." I'll do the same. 

What'll 2018 Look Like? 

Done. Zero. 

Now this is no decry that Germans are a super race (I tread softly using this analogy, given Liebe Deutschland's grizzly history with the term, just my creative prose leaking through) of people who can't happen to gain weight, it's simply an observation about a culture that enjoys movement more than convenience and activity more than comfortability. There have been many a times I've been tempted back towards my "American roots" of laziness. Now c'mon, baby America, you know I love you, but you've really let your figure go. I'd like to say that with a surplus of food, resources and wealth inhabitants of a country gain weight but this is ridiculous I can't make excuses for your laziness anymore. 

Let me clarify though, just because everyone here isn't overweight doesn't mean everyone is ripped either. That's certainly also not the case. I've also marveled at the opposite, which is, it seems very few Germans like to do anything "extra" along the lines of working out. Which isn't really a condemnation, since they stay in good form despite their lack of a punctual workout regiment. That's not really the point, I'm not suggestion we should all look like Barbie & Ken, or whatever the crap the newest variation of girl's dolls are called, but we could definitely take some tips from Germans: 


“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols

“Walking . . . is how the body measures itself against the earth.” 
― Rebecca Solnit, Wanderlust: A History of Walking

Now I'm not sure my German buddy Friedrich was completely right about this one. I mean...all of my blog posts have been written sitting down. But Miss Solnit was on to something. At least you should get the gist. Get out and walk. It's fun, it's beautiful and you get a perspective you can never experience the world in a car, bus, plane, boat, etc. the same way you can as with your own two feet. If you just have the time, anything is in walking distance and there's certainly nothing wrong with slowing down for a few hours. 

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

- Mark Twain

"What makes the desert beautiful,” said the little prince, “is that somewhere it hides a well."

- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Although I've complained, stressed, whined, and ranted about German's shortage of easily accessible water, it is  my most often consumed drink. Granted, it beats out beer by like .01 percentage points. (50.01 to 49. 99%). I think this is pretty normal for this lovely culture. I see water drinking everywhere. Hardly is there a Coke bottle laying around, or anything loaded with sugar like we see in the United States and honestly, it does the body good. Wonder why those Milk drinking adds never sold some creative ideas to Dasani or something...

"Jake, if you want to take the stairs, we'll take the stairs...

There's always a choice. What's wrong with the stairs?

Come on, you'll be all right."

Trust me, if you get your body used to it you won't end up like Det. Ray Cole; dead on a StairMaster. 

Shameless Plug 

The Blog Post About Nothing

WARNING: The Title Says it ALL. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK 

They say patience is a virtue; if you're still reading the nonsense I write, you've got a boatload of virtuous bones in your body. Cudos. No seriously though, I would apologize about my delayed absence from the blogging world but, frankly, I just didn't have any time to write. This past weekend was Thanksgiving, Germany style, and while Dexter, my host father and I were slaving around fixing up two 30 pound turkeys, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, mac & cheese and corn bread you all were expecting me to write something? Not gonna happen.  Interestingly enough, I still don't have anything to write about, and as a beautiful, poetic, response to that; I'm going to write about having nothing to write.

Catering Service Always Open
Photo Rights Reserved for Dexter.Gulicks.Beard , LLC 

Have you ever had a thought wisp into your head, resting there pestering your entire conscience? Well I have, like a million times per day. Half of them (no exaggeration) I end up saying "I should probably blog about that" and then the next minute, poof they're gone. I don't even know where they dissappear to, one minute they're in my head and then they vanish like my brain just didn't have enough room for one more minute, finite, thought. That's the life of a writer (not that I proclaim to be a writer, per ce, but I'm someone who does enjoy to write). I can't imagine the frustration they go through on a daily basis, thinking of literary genius, only to see it float away in the clutter of our modern/post-modern, post-skype,facebook,twitter world that idolizes the quick, multitasking and nonsensical.

Yikes, a bit of a pessimistic thought, especially since most of my viewers have gotten to my blog realm thanks to this modern/post-modern, post-skype, facebook,twitter world that ideolizes the quick, multitasking and nonsensical. Show of hands, how many of you are doing something else right this second. I certainly am.

Whoops...

Where'd You Go? 

They say a lot of work goes into writing something that people would enjoy reading. I think that's an understatement. All those thoughts that suddenly disappear, like all the matching socks in the world, would make the most brilliant blog posts if I could remember them; instead I have to sit on it for a while, waiting for some kind of inspiration to hit me...

...still waiting.

This is the point where you all question yourselves for not listening to my warning only a few short paragraphs up. It's like those spam E-Mails that people send out:

 "Don't Scroll Down!" I scroll down, 

"No REALLY, you DON'T want to do this" I really want to do this!!

"You are ABOUT TO SEE SOMETHING TERRIBLE" Try me... 

"I am WARNING YOU IF YOU KEEP SCROLLING YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL BE CHANGED" Challenge accepted. 

So this is my blog form version of such E-Mails. 

Don't. Scroll. Down. 

This is the part where you verbally say "Challenge accepted" to your computer screen. Looking completely and utterly foolish while sitting in Starbucks sipping on your peppermint mocha lattes. 'tis the season  

But seriously, can I get credit? I am writing a wholly entertaining blog post without saying ANYTHING. I suppose I'm venting about the frustrations of writing, which is something I think you all should appreciate, especially since I'd like to have an excuse for when my blogging decreases to once every eight months. If you did the math correctly, that would mean one more blog post during my stay in Germany. At that point, it'd be a book, not a blog.

Notice, this was the first time I said the word Germany in... 612 words. The average person reads, on a monitor, about 200 words per minute. Factoring in that you're probably adding to the drawl of our modern/post-modern, post-skype,facebook,twitter world that idolizes the quick, multitasking and nonsensical, you've probably wasted about five to ten minutes of your life reading a blog that has literally no substance...you could have watched a Rebecca Black YouTube video instead.

You guys really need to prioritize.

Send Me Forget-Me-Nots

So I'm currently sitting in a McDonalds, on my MacBook, picking pieces of french fry salt off of my fingertips cautiously before pressing them to the white Apple product's keyboard, Dr. Dre's Solo Red Beats are blasting "N*ggas in Paris into my overly-victimized-by-music ears. This is actually completely by coincidence, but very fitting seeing as what I'm about to write about seems to be titular to my situation. Aside from my headphones, which are pretty much the modus operandi in the US the rest of my outer appearance wouldn't illicit any sort of second glances wearing burgundy colored pants, a matching scarf and a chocolaty fedora.

It's all merging together! 

This is perhaps, the most indicative sign of the syndrome that Jay Z & Kanye West were thinking of when they decided to make such a catchy song.

At this point I've spent more time in Germany than my other two times weighing in at a few over 100 days and if it at any point felt foreign and odd, that has all evaporated; quite contrarily, its the memories of America that seem to be fading rapidly, the things I would earlier eaten my hat if I'd got them wrong, I would now tentatively answer; tip toeing around the hard questions about what it's really like in America, afraid I may be confusing things I've observed here as the "norm" for back stateside.

Okay, George Washington was the first elected American President, the Constitution was written & ratified in 1787 & 1788, the flag is red white & blue with 50 stars and 13 stripes. Give me a break I don't mean the easy stuff that has been ground (I wrote "grinded" the first time) into my head time and time again, I mean the real, tangible America.

The interesting thing is it's really not an issue. Last year, when the aforementioned song came out I was comfortable in Frankfurt with one of my good friends, laughing & chuckling at how fitting it was that we were busy living life to the fullest with an aptly titled song telling us how to live. I always had America in the back of my head, though, everything was like an extended vacation with the end always well within reach, this time the "end" is the very last thing I want to think about.

What exactly, beyond spending a majority of my twenty-two years there, is the everlasting allure of the US? I think some of the charm has worn off. I am so proud to be American and I love my country very much but I can't hide the fact that I have an equally open love for Germany and as I've been here I've had a hard time distinguishing what is truly the essence of American culture, it's going to be fun to dissect that more as my time here continues to grow longer but for now I need a reminder of some sorts. I thought the election provided me the proper jolt that would make everything crystal clear, on the contrary it only made things more muddled (you know, the bickering, name calling and bullcrap cannot always be masked by the red, white and blue confetti and Barack's captivating smile)

But honestly, I was thinking about it as I heard the police sirens of a German police car speed by. My mind was confused as I asked myself, "what do American police sirens sound like?" and then I thought of all the things about America that I've forgotten, or even more appalling, I've never even thought about:

What is the sound of the average American home's telephone? Germany has a distinct ring tone that I would gander 70% of all stationary phones use; from the home that I've been in for a little over a month to the restaurant in the middle of Boonies, Deutschland with the most delicious desserts known to man.

What does free water taste like? Yes, water is still a problem but I've adjusted rather well to the constant dehydration, you simply just reprogram your body to not need the fluid. But in America I'm pretty sure there's this thing called free refills, what do they taste like? What's the quality of free water, it's one of those things I wonder about, can it really be as good as bottled water? Germany's made me water elitist, sue me.

Are there any clocks on military time? Can't lie, I'm not sure I'll ever set my phone back to the 12 hour clock. It just doesn't make sense anymore.

What Channel is ESPN? This might be cheating, on basic cable I knew it like the back of my hand, 31 in NC, 46 in ATL but seriously, with my digital box back stateside I'm going to struggle so hard finding the channels I usually frequent. My laptop has become my best friend for all things streaming.

How do Automatic Cars Feel? I love the feel of the ride in a manual car, so smooth, so responsive, so willing to be driven. What is the appeal of automatic? Is the actually a reason we love them so much or is it just the whole convenience thing? 

It's just crazy how many things about my home country I've forgotten, of course there are more but these are the ones that I've taken thought to ponder. Honestly the fact is pretty scary, how quickly the things that are minute get replaced with other things equally minute. Such a introspective post I've written here!

So tell me America...what's your lasting appeal?

Politically Correct

I woke up this morning to realize that the first few days of November had slipped through my hands. Granted, I've been fairly busy the past few days hanging out in Osnabrück with fellow PPPlers Jesse and Dexter, playing a Lacrosse game in Mainz, hanging out with the guest brother in some pretty awesome shack in the middle of the woods, and finally watching the Panthers look like a shadow of what I expected them to be this weekend, but I woke up and it was November 5th.

 Fun Fact: 17/18 elections since 1940 have been "predicted" by the Redskins result on the Sunday before the election. Redskins lose, incumbent loses, so if you believe in superstition, be prepared to hear "President Romney" pretty soon.


 November 5th, that means in two days I will know whether we will still be on 44 or have moved on to 45 in terms of presidential electees. Where did that time go? It's really astonishing how quickly the flow of the 2012 Presidential Campaign has gone, but I'd have to say that from my perspective, this has been the most compelling race and not only because it appears that it's going to be close as all get out, but also because being on the other side of the pond, I don't have to endure the nonsensical political campaigning that would otherwise tarnish the (fairly unbiased) perspectives I have of both candidates' platforms in the 2012 reboot of "President Wars: The Republicans Strike Back"

Notice I said fairly unbiased.

It's Elementary My Dear...

Now being here in Germany, I can say one thing for certain. If Obama were running in Deutschland against Romney, it wouldn't even be close. Granted, this is from the fairly liberal perspective of students and my highly educated guest family, but I mean it's not even close. Everyone who I befriend asks me about the election, whether I've voted already, and if I voted for Obama. In that order, maybe sometimes they'll ask an intermediate question, such as "Where are you from in the US" or "What are you doing in Germany" but up through the election, I'm certain they will ask if I picked their horse in the race.

"In spite of everything: A Hero"

Which makes it very interesting to me to see the actual European perspective. We can drop all the rhetoric we want about having a bad international reputation, but I can tell you with 99% certainty that a great majority of my conversations over elections in Germany have implied a huge Obama slant. Of course this is a small sample size and doesn't correlate at all to the European attitude as a whole, but I have never quite understood why, even after some really appalling gaffes, Willard Mitt Romney had a puncher's chance at the clawing back into the election to the point that's been "too close to call" for a month now.

Why would Germans lean towards the more progressive candidate? No trick questions there.

The Great Debaters 

I only learned one thing from the debates that I was skeptical of before. Willard Mitt Romney is a well spoken, well prepared debater. The time difference made it really hard to tune into the debates without the rampant bile spewed by the media reaching me, but after watching all three the mornings after I say the result of the debates are as follow: 1) Romney win by large margin, 2) Obama win by very small margin (if only because he stopped the bleeding after looking like a zombie in debate one), 3)  Tie.


Presidential Debate Checklist:

• Point fingers, a lot of fingers
• Deny, slip around, or straight out ignore accusations against your person, party or beliefs
• Ad Hominem is your best friend
• Find the Straw Man, light him on fire
• Smile for the camera, look "presidential" 
• Do not lose your cool

Sure we can find some really great mouthpieces, (my new favorite pickup line is: "Wanna hop in my binder, baby? I can carry you all around the world with me." What do you think ladies?) but the fact remains is that I am not skeptical of Romney's intellectual prowess, nor am I skeptical of his track record as a businessman. The only problem I have, a foreseeable one at that, is that he wavers on some really critical points and that isn't something I am okay with.

On the other side, Obama has certainly not kept all his campaign promises (a ridiculous expectation from our populous anyway, in this bipartisan hell hole that we have created in recent years) and he should be held accountable for some mishaps in American government, Benghazi comes to mind quickly as a scab the opposition continues to press firmly against, but as an American citizen in Europe, I can tell you that international relations, at least in this area, would seem to be maintained "more effectively" with Obama in the White House.

He's loved overseas, come on, this is the same guy who won a preemptive Nobel Peace Prize just for being a brother in office. No need to sugar coat it.

So...who's it gonna be?

I honestly couldn't tell you. My heart says that enough people will mobilize and Barry will win a few critical states and stave off the fierce run that Mittens made during this campaign. My head says that all the polls are complete crap, and once people get behind the comfort of anonymity anything can happen and a liberally slanted media is not going to prevent Romney from taking home the crown. So...really, I can just tell you I don't know. I will be  surprised tomorrow evening, at around 2 AM either way. I just hope we put our country in good hands...I don't want to come back to mayhem.

Old Habits Die Hard

I think I'm usually pretty good at keeping things fun and easy-going in my writing, so I will try and discuss something that is a little bit darker in German history as lightheartedly as possible. I always enjoy having fun writing and it's important to cover a broad range of different topics.

As such, today I'm going to talk about the Holocaust. Well, not directly, but I will certainly express my own experiences with the aftermath of it as a post-WWII in Germany. It's been a little less than eighty years since the end of "The Big One" and most of us who have an understanding of the internet extensive enough to get to my blog easily often were not even a sparkle in our father's eyes at that point. That doesn't prevent the troubling (for me at least) reality that Germany has had a hard time escaping its haggard past. I'm just going to put forth a few observations I've had thus-far, maybe I'll amend this post after the entire year but what I've seen is probably not going to change in nine more months.

She's got ruby red lips blonde hair blue eyes; an' I'm about to bid my heart good-bye

I was very adamant in my belief that there was a huge misconception of the amount of blondes in Germany, I'd come to believe it was simply an oversimplification of the horrors that happened during the Holocaust and a tepid description of German culture. Now, however; there may be a little bit more to it. In my experiences during my university studies so far, I am confident to say that 60% of all the girls in my classes are blondes. There are other puzzling things about it though. Although I've seen a fair share of blonde guys during my time here, it's not even close, the blonde haired girls have to have at least a 5:1 advantage over their testosterone-laden counterparts.

Let's be clear, I'm at a single university in Germany, in a single state within the country...this is by no means a representative sample of all Germany, but it's certainly more than enough to open my eyes to the possibiity that anti-semitism may have had a greaeter effect on the proliferation of genes in the post-WWII era.

Hmm...I'm still not sure about it but I really think it's something that I'm going to continue to study because it's something very interesting. 

Does that star-spangeled banner yet wave...

I used to think that the constant wearing of American paraphernalia was a sure sign of someone in Germany who had some sort of origins in the United States. It would only make sense, right? That someone would be proud of the country even across the seas and wear an article representing the said country ever once in a while.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Fact: 91% of statistics are made up. Fact: 97% of people you see in Germany wearing American paraphernalia are not from the United States.

It's one of the stranger phenomena I've ever discussed with Germans. It's such a constant problem in their lives, the fear of being identified as anti-semetic or having a secret swastika chilling in their basement, and so instead of wearing their country's flag with pride, they decide to borrow the next best thing, America's flag. Now I'm so happy that (for the most part) German's don't have too, too much negative to say about America, at least the one's with the intellectual/personal experiences that allow someone to objectively examine but it's really not okay with me that the only time I see a German flag is during international soccer* competitions.

I understand the fear of big government, I get the overcompensation for a dark past, but I really wish Germany could exhibit pride for its beautiful development since WWII, wave your flag with pride Germany, you've swayed my heart and I wear your colors proudly when I'm feeling spiteful towards my own country for whatever reason, you should be able to do the same.

Wave that Flag.

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes...

If a twenty-two year old were capable of going through her life without gaining any history of the second world war and Germany's situation during it, she may be very quick to notice the interesting phenomenon that occurs within German universities. Now being a twenty-two year old, with exceptional intellect, she would quickly notice that there was something different about the German's and their call and response hehaviors with their professors. Their hands would raise, but perhaps the palm would be tilted to the side, a slightly clasped fist perhaps, or maybe a single finger up into the air. A favorite of the curious German students would be to raise a slightly cupped hand into the air, palm facing back towards their own bright, brilliant visages while waiting patiently for the professor to address their concerns. She'd also be interested to see that while fist pumping to music, or in situations where hand-raising is seemingly acceptable, the Germans would be very hesitant to do so. It would, without question, be a very interesting event to her.

 

Never in Germany.

We all assume such a twenty-two year old doesn't exist in the United States--and as such, we all know the reason for why the hands are raised differently in Liebe Deutschland. This one I have a little less condemnation for than the lack of flags. Yet, it's still one of those things that I have to wonder, will this generation change the habit? Probably not, of course not, they'll mimic the behavior of their peers but it's something that I can't help but sadly accept as a grizzly part of German history. It would be, I think, like hearing the "n-word' in the United States--some might suggest that the word has exhausted any of its historic stigma, but it still doesn't appear to have a place in society--pretty similar situations if you ask me.

Though this be madness there's a method in't...

You receive money for returning empty plastic bottles to their designated disposal machines, beer and bread are valued commodities that many Germans couldn't live without and the thought of leaving food to waste is as foreign to most Germans as American Football is.

But there's reasons for all of it, extreme poverty is something that the generation of our grandparents in Germany faced, that means their kids were raised under the practice of conservatism and it seems to have rubbed off on their children as well. It's an amazing thing really, to examine some of the organizational things that seem to have be a direct byproduct of the second World War and it's really been for me, a paradigm shifting phenomenon.

Hopefully all this critical observation will carry on through the rest of my stay here and I'm curious to see what I can learn about America upon return and some of the roots of our practices.

Travel around enough and you never know what you'll learn.

Bikes of Passage

Left to pit his wits and will against nature's fury. It was his initiation...his time in the wild for he would return to his people a Spartan or not at all.

So here I am, sitting in my lecture hall, waiting for the most compelling class "Social Structure & Culture" to start when a future colleague of mine, sitting a few rows behind me asks: "are you in this class as well?" I answer with a solid "Yeah" too tired from staying out way past my recommended bedtime in order to make some new German friends to formulate solid German sentences. "Well it apparently starts next week the 18th of October" I chuckle to myself and, recovering from the haze of tiredness that's consumed me the entire morning respond with a, "That really sucks, I guess we could have checked that earlier." Now I am here, in my lecture hall completely alone, writing a blog post. Things you will learn if you ever come to study in Germany (or any other foreign country for that matter), but primarily things you were learn about biking culture because bikes are Münster's primary form of transportation. So, without further ado....

 1. Like Learning to Ride a Bike 

Promenade

There are some things that are really invaluable lessons parents give there kids. I know in this modernized world bike riding doesn't seem to be too prevalent in the United States, perhaps because the cities are too big, the time to get places is too small and the people are too impatient but I cannot stress enough how awesome it is to ride my (my guest family is awesome, I can't stress this enough and were kind enough to buy a bike for my usage while I'm here) bike here. Germany is known for these stretches of sidewalk that are designated bike paths, but Münster goes above and beyond with its very own bike promenade. In addition, there's rules, right is slow traffic, left if passing traffic, you ring your bell if you want to pass someone and you use your arms as turning signals. All pretty basic stuff, but there's something seemingly intimate about being able to simply hop on a bike and ride into the elements.

2. 0 Degrees Celsius 

Speaking of the elements, I was not prepared for this nonsense. Why yesterday, when I was out with Dexter and my new group of German friends did I not bring a jacket? I thought, "Hey, it's a nice 50 degrees, I just played Lacrosse in Germany, everything's okay!" Everything, my friends, was not okay I practically froze and only survived because of the kindness of Philipp, my new German buddy, and Dexter who loaned me gloves and a beanie respectively. This is all fine and dandy when you're just standing, or drinking seemingly comfortable locations, but the wind tearing into your face and reminding you that it really is zero degrees Celsius (32 F for you who may not know middle school science). I have my gloves, thank goodness, and a jacket and hat from my host family but just know I still don't think I'm going to survive this winter.   

3. Hot Wheels 

One of the most necessary steps every college aged student must take in Münster is being under the influence of alcohol (no, I am not saying incapable or pass out drunk, simply under the influence) and riding their bike to or from a party. It's just simple fun. It's a terrible practice and I do not suggest anyone making it a practice as much as I do not suggest anyone driving under the influence, but it was certainly a good feeling to ride along with the compadres and see how simple fun riding a bike while drinking a beer can be. These crazy Germans. 

4. All That Junk in the Trunk

Since I spoke of Lacrosse briefly...Münster has a Lacrosse club/team and we had our first practice yesterday. Aside from having to spend close to 200 Euros for the deposit it was awesome. Our first game is this coming Saturday and it couldn't be more exciting. The practice isn't the real highlight of my life though, it was the biking back from it with all my newly rented equipment. So I hooked up everything, strapped it onto my backpack and made my way back home. It was an experience, I'll say that, but it was definitely something worth merit. Seriously though...who needs a car when you can bike?

5. Cum Tempore 

It was really awesome learning how to bike to class in less time than it took me to drive to campus last year. Class starts fifteen minutes after the hour, in this case it's scheduled time is 10:00 (had it really been held today) which means the lecture would have been held today it would have started at 10:15. I woke up at 9:43. Got here at 9:59. But to be clear, Germans, who are known for their timeliness have so far disappointed. My lectures with my British and Venezuelan professors have definitely started more punctually than the others. But That's okay, I'm cool with it. Gives me more time to relax. I'm not mad at you German professors, do your thing. 

But in addition to my punctuality successes, it's so awesome learning new cities and new places. Being able to direct someone through Münster is going to be an awesome experience, and it won't be too long until I can do that, seeing as I bike everywhere. I think I need to name my bike. If anyone has suggestions feel free to lay 'em on me. Just know that I name all my objects females. Just one of those things, I think it ties us together more closely.

6. Water Weight

I sweat like the dickens on my bike. I don't know if there's any other way to say that. It's just ridiculous how much I sweat. Dexter and I talked about this last night and he revealed that he brings a towel with him when he's biking places. It might be a genius idea. Even when it's ZERO DEGREES CELSIUS, I still sweat. Of course I'm usually not an idiot and I wear a jacket but that's besides the point, it's still so cold and to be sweating through my multiple layers is just astonishing. I had a temporary, irrational fear that I'd come back to the states an obese human being because of the fact that my guest father and I cook marvelous meals everyday, and even when I'm not cooking, he does it. (which would be the ultimate irony, wouldn't it? Leaving America and coming BACK obese, impossible.) But then I realized with all the biking, walking, Lacrosse-ing, there's no way.

I Eat Like This Daily

7. An Apple a Day

Scarves, Jackets, Tea, Cough Drops, Soup. All of these are good protectors from cold. But I am going to be superstitious during this winter (I'm really not joking about this winter stuff) and I'm going to go ahead and be sure to keep up with the old adage. Every day I eat an apple. Every. Single. Day. Why you ask? Because that one day I don't eat an apple, and I'm blogging, sickly and depressed someone would come along and say that stupid saying and make me feel dumb. So if I get sick, in spite of all the apples, then screw you, screw your cute rhyming phrases, I'm going straight to the doctor.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

No man is an Island, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.

Promptly at 6:50 I wake up, it's still dark thanks to the beautiful ability of my new room to block out every facet of light that would love to creep into my room. Even though I'm up, partially conscious at such an early hour I have absolutely no desire to get out of bed, no, I lay in darkness for a little while before tuning in to Season 2 of The Wire. I don't know how I went so long without seeing this excellent show but I say I silent prayer of thankfulness for my sister and Bradley for bringing me into the light about it before I left. It's so peaceful here, Münster, Germany, a little ways north of Cologne, still in the state of North-Rhine-Westphalia.

The morning is a great time for me, it's invaluable really. Morning and late at night are the two times you can really just absorb yourself in your own thoughts, uninterrupted by other influences. So during the mornings I delve into thoughts, and this morning I was very consumed in the thoughts of Münster and my amazing experiences here so far. 

I thought about my amazing host family, the whole package and how excited I am to get to know my host-dad, -mom, and brothers so well in the next ten months and how awesome it's going to be to be talking German for a majority of the day, interacting in such a friendly setting. Some of the best moments I've had so far have been cooking with my host pop. He worked as a chef for some time after studying so he knows his way around the kitchen and since I love to cook we've made it a quasi-tradition. I can only imagine how the cooking is going to develop over the next few months. 

I thought about how beautiful Münster is. In a lot of facets, there are beautiful people, who ride around the town, known for its ferver for bike riding culture, a beautiful city, influenced by roman and gothic architectures, a beautiful environment, even though the clouds are often haunted by rain clouds, and a genuine beautiful personality of the entire university town culture. I smile to myself when I think about how lucky I am to be in such an amazing place and I can't imagine being anywhere else at this juncture. 

As the wind wisps gently through my slightly ajar window, I think about my family, friends, loved ones at home. I think about how I wish they could experience some of these things with me, I think about how great it is to have such a wide support system and I think about how much I am happy I have found new friends here and new people to share experience with. I chuckle lightly to myself in the morning darkness about how I thought, even for a second of foregoing this opportunity, and I think of how great it is to have great guidance both here and above. 

For one more second I think about my classes and the university which I will start attending next week as an international student, my blood boils with excitement, almost enough to fight the sleep from the corners of my consciousness  And then right around 7:40 or so, I stop thinking. Sleep has overtaken me. Strange phenomenon indeed, waking up for a brief moment, maybe just to take some time and reflect on life, maybe to take to be happy  genuinely happy and then to submerge myself once more into sleep. It doesn't last long though, eight o'clock calls and the bell tolls, a daily orchestra of church bells in the morning, bringing me back to life for the day and I can't be upset. For in my short time in Münster, those bells have come to symbolize the start of another great day and when they start to ring, I have no hesitations to get out and go. 

Just a minute. Only sixty seconds in it.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

I will talk about Oktoberfest. At some point on this blog I will, I promise, but when a topic comes rushing into your head you do not simply ignore it. *Insert Internet Lord of the Rings Meme Here* Tomorrow is my last day of language school and inevitably my last weekend in Cologne. I am so glad to have spent these two months learning German, meeting great people, exploring new lands and finding as much about myself as possible. But still, I can't help but feel like it always goes by too fast. Where did these two months really go? If only I could recall every day, hour, minute, second I would understand where the heck my September went. Wouldn't that be great? To have like a recording of your life, you could replay all the great memories, fast forward through the boring or painful parts, and really soak up the intimacies of one's life. 

There are so many things that I still have to do in Cologne and I haven't the time to do them. Where did all those days wasted away doing nothing? Where are those hours I drained away watching tv or reading books when I should have been out exploring as much as I could? I would say there is something refreshing about not doing everything in a city, it leaves something to come back and do, and fortunately Münster isn't far (about an hour and 45 minutes north of Cologne) but what a waste. 

I like to believe I have a photographic memory, but can I trade my Powershot in for a Sony PMW-EX1?  

In all seriousness, this has been such an amazing two months of my life & I'm sure the next couple days will be an epic conclusion, but I just need to get it out here because I don't want to forget these thoughts. 

Basketball, Indian Food, Constant Jokes, Broken German, Slightly Less Broken German, Comprehendible German, Language School, An Awesome Teacher, Moshing, Deep Conversations, Beer Pong with Swiss Roommate, Complaining about Late Trains, Ping pong, Soccer, Volleyball, NFL in Germany, "Chody P," Brunch, Frankfurt, Dusseldorf, Bonn, King's Cup at Jesse's, Oktoberfest. Pressing in Lara's Nose, Playing "Klaus" with Gaurav, Dexter & I being Dexter & I, Having my First Heart to Heart with Caitlin, Tearing apart Germans in Basketball with Jesse, Trying to learn Salsa dancing from the in-house Professional Robi, Arguing With My Ultimate-Life-Long Nemisi Michelle. 

And all the other countless things i did with some really invaluable friends.

That was only a small fraction of the things I could thing of, mainly the ones that mean a significant thing to me or stood out in my mind for one reason or another. I'm so glad to be leaving because after visiting on Monday, I've learned that Münster is a simply wonderful city and my host family is amazing but I will be leaving some great new friends behind, a great experience learning the language, and a comfort zone I've created around myself.

But I suppose that's what life is about right? Adjusting to new and exciting experiences. Everyone remembers when they did something uncomfortable for the first time only to see how lovely it would grow to be. I think that's what's happened in Cologne. Of course I've tested the waters of this German living thing before and I loved it, this time is no different in the loving aspect but I am so amazed at how everything has come to a blur at the end. 

Tomorrow I will try and do as many things as I can in the time I have left and maybe I'll write another short blog post like this one. Trying to get six before the month's end. 

I like uniformity. Lucky you. 

Coldoktoberbeerfest*

I really hate cold weather.

I had to get that out before I could continue trekking on through this most painful post. I feel like I've spent about equal amounts of times breaking down Liebe Deutschland and building it up. This time is one of those break downs. I am 100% certain that my entire perception of Germany is going to change in the coming months. Those cold, frigid, awful months that I've so conveniently been able to avoid the other two times I been here are going to sneak up on me and consume all the beautiful sunny hilltops and strip away the melodic sun's glisten against graceful bodies of flowing water.

Charlie knows how I feel...

It really hit me today and I realized there's no turning back, my tracks have already been made by, & covered in the metaphorical snow. The story starts like this: I met a really gay (literal sense people, I'm clearly in a poetic mood tonight) group of Germans over the past few weeks that play basketball regularly on basketball courts along the Rhein river. Not only is it a breath-taking view that really makes me appreciate the smaller things in life, the competition is also really freaking awesome. We played for a few hours today, but at the conclusion of our Spiel I realized just how cold I was. It was probably about 57 degrees but my body did not appreciate the "drastic" drop in temperature when it had been rested peacefully at 70 earlier in the day.

I'm from the South. I have to reiterate these things for some of my readers because there may be a huge disconnect about how 57 degrees could spawn a post about the impending frigidness of Germany. 57 degrees is cold for me. There is no other way to read this response, I am fairly uncomfortable in this weather and although I do occasionally enjoy a crisp breeze, I cannot confidently say I'm looking forward to the deluge of mid-50 degree weather that's about to wreck havoc on Cologne.

My peak comfort level when it comes to temperature is right around 60 degrees, anything below that and you can expect to start to here subtle complaints about how cold it is or how I need a jacket, or how I can't bear this much longer. It's just one of those things that I can't deal with and it's times like these I regret having lived in the South my whole life because there is nothing I could do about having such thin blood for the cold weather.

The best solution I've come up with so far is to start drinking heavily to keep myself warm, perhaps that 's what I'll do. Might have some debilitating side effects which keep me from, you know, functioning, but it's not like it'd be much different than me in popsicle form anyway.

That brings me to an interesting point, once that might give some real substance to this blog post. Did you know the reason Germans are so famous for beer/they live up the stereotype about beer so well is because they brewed beer in the winter months as a method not to lose carb crops (wheat) during the winter months. I wonder what parts of American culture (if we have a +1000 year long history such as the Germans) would be preserved.

Hopefully not obesity.

Another fun fact, beer brewing in Germany is something that was originally done by women. A pretty interesting revelation since now we see beer brewing (at least in America) as a primarily male dominated profession. Not to mention the plethora of demeaning ascribing of roles to our women. This look familiar to anyone?

How quickly we forget that women did all the work for this wonderful craft to become what it was to the point that men could so conveniently demean them. WOW! Talk about going on a tangent. To be fair to myself, the logical link is there, go ahead, scroll back up, read through everything again and tell me that I could not have logically gotten to the St. Pauli Girl, with her overemphasized chest, beer and Drindl. 

Which leads me to my last tidbit for the day. Oktoberfest is this weekend for me. I don't even know if I need to say anything else about that but I will. I have been dreaming about this day for at least seven years, you know, ever since I started really taking an interest in Germany (this probably correlates directly with the first time I watched Beerfest) 

I know, I know, this scene and the entirety of Beerfest is about the most ridiculous adaptation of German drinking culture you can find, but can't a guy dream? I can guarantee you that I will have tons of fun being American and drinking beer in München this weekend and that is honestly all that matters at this point. 1. München is perhaps my favorite German city and I haven't spent THAT much time there but every time I've been it's been amazing 2. I'm going with some great people, shout out to Gaurav, Lara, Robi, Jesse, Kaela, Caitlin, Dexter. 3. Beer 4. It's the last weekend before the last week of class, talk about memorable conclusions. 5. Beer

Did I miss anything?

Oh yeah...beer. 

Just expect a post raving about it once I get back, until then, do yourself a favor and watch Beerfest, then you'll know exactly where I'm coming from. 

For all of you who might not have scrolled up to check the logical, sequential, fluid flow of this blog post, I did you lazy people a favor. 

Hating the cold ----> Germany's cold weather ----> Alcohol as a solution to cold weather ----> The etymology of beer culture in Germany ----> Tangent on America  ----> Women as icons: brewers of beer ----> sexual objectifications for beer ----> Drindls ----> Oktoberfest ----> Beerfest ----> Beer 

Logical. Got it? Good. Goodnight! 

*This title is what english would look like if it used German rules of word construction.

Time Flies..

Wow, it's been such a long time since I had anything to write about and now that I've found some sort of muse (Now Playing: Homecoming by J Cole) I thought it was a must do. I am currently typing on my iPhone to spew as much creativity out before it leaves me. Honestly though, I really don't have too much to talk about except how detached I feel from America after only a month in Deutschland. This isn't a critique, because I'm glad to have a different perspective on life and its pretty cool to be able to compartmentalize some of my Americanism.

Don't Mess With My First Family

Aside from a couple hours spent watching the DNC (which was in my birthplace, shout out to the Queen City) and analyzing the different approaches of the national conventions, and of course a good bit of football watching yesterday (the Cam Newton show hit a slight bump in the road but will continue as scheduled next week), I don't think I've been too attuned with the happenings back home. Like why would I look at Huffington Post on a daily basis if I can read German news? I think this is a good thing though, especially since one of the purposes of being here was tapping into a part of myself that isn't a innately attached to America as I usually am.  

Jeez, maybe I should stop blogging permanently, I'm getting too deep and existential, all I'm saying is that it might be a good thing to feel less American and feel more...I dunno...human primarily? Who knows, I would be curious to know if others have this same thought process, 'cause I'm sure sometimes being away for a long dose of time exacerbates one's pride for one's home or culture. Well, that was enough one month reflection for the blogging public, now there are a few things that I wanted to share during the nine or so day break I took from scribbling my thoughts down on this electronic tablet so I guess I'll lay them out in some kind of stream of consciousness-like manner.   

Groceries Are Cheap:

I've always been proud of my southern upbringing and the wonderful experiences I had growing up in "North Cackalacky" and one of the things I noticed while growing older was that the South is pretty inexpensive compared to other parts of the country. The buck stops there though. Germany is, in my book, The King of Grocery Stores. The first time I went shopping in Köln, I did the whole stock up thing and I whipped out my 100 euro bill expecting to be paying out the butt, and then the cashier politely (or something along the lines of German politeness) says, "25.80" I was so shocked, that when he gave me my change, 74.20, instead of putting it in my pocket, I must have handed it to some homeless guy and made his week...

That would have been a better story...no, what actually happened to that 74.20 is a mystery, probably a surcharge for bagging my own groceries so slowly while people angrily stared at me. 

Yeah...that awkward moment when you lose one-hundred smackers your first week in Germany. Whoops...

Gas is Not:

So if you've been keeping up with my blog thus far, you kinda know my living situations: a whole floor with three separate bedrooms split between however many people my guest mother/host is renting to at that current time. Right now it's me and this one dude from Switzerland, but for one week there was a businessman here; I mean real businessman, with a wife and kids back home, from Holland and we got along well. His last day here, we drove together to language school because he was going to leave right from language school. We had to stop at a gas station to fill up his car and at the end of the pumping cycle, I saw this compilation of numbers that shattered my whole argument for any reason Americans had to complain over gas. €93.25 for 60.20 liters. Yeah try that one on for size. Oh not impressive enough? That's ONE-HUNDRED NINETEEN DOLLARS AND THIRTY-ONE CENTS for FIFTEEN POINT NINE GALLONS OF GAS. Shut the heck up America. Pump your gas at least your wallet doesn't feel 30 pounds lighter after the fact. 

I Really Like Köln:


This city has been good to me. I've done great things here, from just hanging out in the city and exploring random areas, going to play basketball along the Rhein river with Germans who seem to really want to be my friends in the near future, sitting on the steps in front of the Dom with some of the greatest friends I could ever ask for and drinking .90 cent beers (wait...1/2 liter of beer is 90 cents? Why don't we figure out a way to run our cars on beer. Whoever figures it out cut me out a slice for the ™) to crying every evening after leaving language school feeling less competent than when I arrived earlier the day, Cologne has grown on me. Granted, I went to Frankfurt for one weekend, saw my uncle and realized how much I loved that city and how Cologne would/could not (speaking prematurely of course) take its place in my heart, but maybe that had something more to do with the amazing food. 

Feast in Frankfurt

Nothing Like Grillin' With Family

Regrets? No Thank You:

Couldn't be more happy to be here than I am now. Granted there are growing pains, you know, like sometimes butchering the language and feeling like a foreigner more often than not, but jeez this first month has been amazing. I'm very excited to move to Münster in about a month to go to school from October until January and intern from February on. It has the second best legal studies behind Bucerius Law School, which is a super exclusive school that has exchanges with the likes of Stanford Law School (!!!!!!), Duke Law, Georgetown, NYU, Michigan, and Georgetown. So I think I'll be in pretty good hands at the Westfälische Wilhelms-Universität Münster. 


Not to mention, I simply love Germany.

My Future University!!! 

 

Okay, I think I'm pretty content with my most random post yet, I'm glad to be back in the blogging form and I hope to write about something a bit more concrete eventually, but this stream of consciousness stuff wasn't too bad either, right? 

Til next time!