The Blog Post About Nothing

WARNING: The Title Says it ALL. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK 

They say patience is a virtue; if you're still reading the nonsense I write, you've got a boatload of virtuous bones in your body. Cudos. No seriously though, I would apologize about my delayed absence from the blogging world but, frankly, I just didn't have any time to write. This past weekend was Thanksgiving, Germany style, and while Dexter, my host father and I were slaving around fixing up two 30 pound turkeys, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, mac & cheese and corn bread you all were expecting me to write something? Not gonna happen.  Interestingly enough, I still don't have anything to write about, and as a beautiful, poetic, response to that; I'm going to write about having nothing to write.

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Have you ever had a thought wisp into your head, resting there pestering your entire conscience? Well I have, like a million times per day. Half of them (no exaggeration) I end up saying "I should probably blog about that" and then the next minute, poof they're gone. I don't even know where they dissappear to, one minute they're in my head and then they vanish like my brain just didn't have enough room for one more minute, finite, thought. That's the life of a writer (not that I proclaim to be a writer, per ce, but I'm someone who does enjoy to write). I can't imagine the frustration they go through on a daily basis, thinking of literary genius, only to see it float away in the clutter of our modern/post-modern, post-skype,facebook,twitter world that idolizes the quick, multitasking and nonsensical.

Yikes, a bit of a pessimistic thought, especially since most of my viewers have gotten to my blog realm thanks to this modern/post-modern, post-skype, facebook,twitter world that ideolizes the quick, multitasking and nonsensical. Show of hands, how many of you are doing something else right this second. I certainly am.

Whoops...

Where'd You Go? 

They say a lot of work goes into writing something that people would enjoy reading. I think that's an understatement. All those thoughts that suddenly disappear, like all the matching socks in the world, would make the most brilliant blog posts if I could remember them; instead I have to sit on it for a while, waiting for some kind of inspiration to hit me...

...still waiting.

This is the point where you all question yourselves for not listening to my warning only a few short paragraphs up. It's like those spam E-Mails that people send out:

 "Don't Scroll Down!" I scroll down, 

"No REALLY, you DON'T want to do this" I really want to do this!!

"You are ABOUT TO SEE SOMETHING TERRIBLE" Try me... 

"I am WARNING YOU IF YOU KEEP SCROLLING YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL BE CHANGED" Challenge accepted. 

So this is my blog form version of such E-Mails. 

Don't. Scroll. Down. 

This is the part where you verbally say "Challenge accepted" to your computer screen. Looking completely and utterly foolish while sitting in Starbucks sipping on your peppermint mocha lattes. 'tis the season  

But seriously, can I get credit? I am writing a wholly entertaining blog post without saying ANYTHING. I suppose I'm venting about the frustrations of writing, which is something I think you all should appreciate, especially since I'd like to have an excuse for when my blogging decreases to once every eight months. If you did the math correctly, that would mean one more blog post during my stay in Germany. At that point, it'd be a book, not a blog.

Notice, this was the first time I said the word Germany in... 612 words. The average person reads, on a monitor, about 200 words per minute. Factoring in that you're probably adding to the drawl of our modern/post-modern, post-skype,facebook,twitter world that idolizes the quick, multitasking and nonsensical, you've probably wasted about five to ten minutes of your life reading a blog that has literally no substance...you could have watched a Rebecca Black YouTube video instead.

You guys really need to prioritize.