Hey, Cupid...

Let me get this out there early: I'm a huge fan of Valentine's Day. I think it's a silly little holiday that allows people to do things that they should do normally for people they care about. Sure, it's over publicized, overloaded with ridiculous amount of wholesale chocolate and conveniently timed "romance" flicks that would never live up to likes of Westside Story, Casablanca and Gone With the Wind. Honestly, I just imagined Humphrey Bogart pulling his best Denzel impersonation, looking at Channing Tatum, and roaring starkly, "The Vow ain't got SHIT on me!"



But back to the point, Valentines Day is a wonderful, sappy, creative marketing scheme that has robbed each and every one of us who's ever bought in to the idea that there should be a day to celebrate pure emotion and feeling for someone else. Okay, the more I talk about it the stupider it gets. Eh, but this is not a critique of the wonderful american holiday Valentines Day, nor is it an evaluation of the Top 50 Romance Movies of All Time--even though I'm sure I'd be up to the task--this is about Germany's strangely siblingesque infatuation with the "american" celebration of holidays.

Now I can tell you, confidently, that our lovely Brüder & Schwestern over the pond are quite the romantics and any misconceptions of this manner should be eschewed. The funny thing is...I didn't feel out of America in the weeks leading up to Valentines Day. Chocolate stands with heart boxes; roses with balloons; red, red, red. This is all stuff I could have walked into Wal-Mart and seen. I expected something new, something original--okay, okay, counterarguments are always welcome: "Well Cliff, they do have Herzen and those are cute. How dare you say there's nothing German about their Valentines Day?" 

Well I say that, witty friend of mine, because 1) If anyone actually ever bought someone a heart like that for V-Day (abbreviations #winning) then they deserve to be shot. It's like the most cop out of cop out gifts. 2) It's not just Valentines Day. Halloween, Christmas...the holiday seasons here are so strikingly similar I sometimes feel like I'm in an episode of the Twilight Zone or maybe True Life: Germany Holidays are American/American Holidays are German.

This isn't a condemnation. It's just an observation. I got to wear a Santa Claus hat on for the weeks leading up to Christmas. Santa Claus. Yeah, yeah, Weihnachtsmann, Schweihnachtsmann. I know a Santa Claus when I see him. I got to carve a pumpkin for Halloween. That "Kotzende Kürbis" that Andreas and I made would have sat very nicely on my front steps of 103 Quarry Place. Christmas trees, trick or treating, dressing up, roses, chocolate. Holidays in Germany are GREAT! The only question is: why in the world are they so similar?

It's a chicken or the egg thing for a lot of them. I'm like 117% sure that we jacked Santa Claus from German's Weihnachtsmann. Christmas trees were in Germany before America had even been conceived. Before it was even a sparkle in Puritan expat's eyes. But you're not gonna actually argue that Germans came up with the disgustingly genius idea of marketing Valentines Day like it was Christmas. Or carving pumpkins, nahh those are better left for soups.

It's just a cool little thing to see. How cultures borrow from one another.

That girl in powerfully walking her way down the street with roses in her hand? Power to her. How about the one biking with a teddy bear stuffed in her backpack? That's true dedication. And it's not even something bad. Germany took a little piece of my heart on Valentines Day, making me realize that as corny and ridiculous as it seems, we came up with one hell of a way to market love.

Cupid, your work here is done.